"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~Randy Pausch
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
~Walt Disney
Well, I still can't quite get over Randy Pausch.
Some people have religion to guide their life and I know that I could really choose one like Christianity or Buddhism to help be the pillar of strength in my life. I am aware of how strong a religion can positively influence a person. Why thse two? Cos so far, they are the religions I have slightly linked myself with in my life, but I'm not a Christian, nor a devout Buddhist (my birth certificate indicates I'm a Buddhist).
I'm not an atheist, cos it's not that I don't believe in God at all. Sometimes, you can catch me saying, "Oh my god" and there are those times when I will just pray like "Dear god, please ..." But then, I don't feel that I have an affinity with God yet, and when the time is not right, it's not right. I won't be able to make myself believe whole-heartedly in whichever religion I could have chosen and there's just no point. But I do not doubt those with strong beliefs in theirs. I believe that their life's experiences and belief are as real as my own belief.
So what's all this about? It's just about me without religion to guide me in my life. My dad influenced me a lot. Like HUGE influence. There's so much of him in me. Not to be unfair to my mum, but I see a lot of what I do as what he has passed on to me, and I love it. I'm proud that I have his patience, his perseverance, his my-own-way-of-doing-things spirit. He's also one who doesn't believe too much in relying on God. Hah...
I have to state clearly again that I mean no disrespect to anyone's beliefs, but this topic of religion relates to Randy Pausch. It's not a discusion about his personal religion, but that it's about him and many others who inspire my life. Since I have no religion to rely on, what guides my life? People like Randy Pausch. When I see value in what people like him says or do, I will try to absorb what their stories teach me about life. This is what guides me and pushes me along.
See, I'm easily influenced. Good or bad. To me, I see myself as quite weak. No self-control, no self-discipline. I want to change badly. To be disciplined. Here's the thing about me. Basically, I keep thinking why am I doing this? Why do I have to do this? It's excessive cos people just live life most of the time and don't ask silly questions like "Why do I have to eat?" or "Why am I in existence?" Well, I assume that most ppl don't dwell too much on these and just keep moving on. So, when I don't or can't see a reason in why I'm doing this, I'd take my time doing it or even not do it at all. My lecturer last sem told me I'm a procrastinator. Hah... spot-on, but I hate that it's so obvious to him. But I couldn't find a reason for self-discipline. Like why do I have to sleep at regular hours? Why do I have to hand in my assignments on time? Why do I have to make my bed? Life can still go on without self-discipline, can't it? I still put in huge effort in what I do even without self-discipline, isn't it enough?
Now, I know better. Not enough. Self-discipline is a key life skill. If I want to fulfill my dreams, I need to have a method to get there. And self-discipline is one of the crucial methodologies for people to reach their maximum potential. I desperately need to develop this skill, but it's hard cos no one who is not self-disciplined at all today would be able to change and become army-style-disciplined the next day simply because they want to. It needs to be trained and that's where all the tough part comes in. The overcoming and breaking of habits. That's where it'll be helpful to think that God is there to pull you along. Why don't I simly believe in God since a part of me believe that God is possibly out there, up there? Cos of my Dad. He believed in his own strength much more than strength from an external source, and I appreciate that about him. Appreciate is an understatement. He's my idol, my role-model in being strong and believing in yourself.
I will admit that it's damn freaking hard for me to do this. Sometimes I feel shit that some other people seem to just simply have the discipline. Am I stupid? I don't know. But I've come to realise that if it's hard for me, don't compare to others. It's so tempting to think if others feel this way too. If they don't, should I just think that it's a very easy thing to do, when in actual fact it's something that requires a lot of my conscious effort to deal with? Now, I don't think if others think that it's easy to do it, or too difficult to be done. I think about myself. Just think of how difficult things are for me and accept it first, then work on it constructively. And when I doubt what I'm doing, people like Randy Pausch become the role model for me to live an earnest life, accepting myself for who I am, accepting that I have my unique problems to deal with and not be too ashamed of it.
Bottomline is, everyone has got problems. Person A may see problem 1 as a difficult issue in his/her life, but person B may see problem 1 as nothing much to fret about in life. Because we're all different, we can't compare our problems all the time. We all have different concerns. There's no fixed and generic way to solve problems. Some have good faith in their respective Gods to guide them. Some others may find that the strength lies in them. And there may be more who thinks that others can solve their problems for them. I think that for me, inspirational strangers are really very very important to get me going and helping me grow as a person. Though they won't know me, I would still like to thank them for inspiring me.
See if you can find some inspirations here.
Randy Pausch's interview with Diane Sawyer on ABC
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=4626595(click on 'The Last Lecture' on the left panel to see Part 1-5 of the interviews)
Touching the Void - documentary film
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7zadH1ZqAE&feature=PlayList&p=BBD23520A925E478&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=29 (the playlist on the right shows parts 1-12 of the film).
Luv,
Me
